Singing in the Car

Abel and I reached a milestone this week. I hoped it would come someday, but I had no idea when it might arrive. Then all of a sudden, there it was.

Keri, my oldest and dearest friend, was the first in my circle to have kids. Her son Matthew is 14 now. Back when he was in preschool (like Abel, and Keri’s twins, are now), the three of us used to spend a lot of time together. One day, we were riding in Keri’s car and the song “All Star” by Smash Mouth came on the radio. Keri and Matt gave each other knowing glances and then sang along. They had certain gestures that went with the lyrics too, especially for the lines

She was looking kinda dumb
With her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an L
On her forehead

I remember thinking, “Wow that’s so cool,” – the casual, playful, but also meaningful, connection they had made through music.

Whenever I hear “All Star,” I think of that moment – I usually get a little bit choked up too. (Oh dear, I’m getting sentimental.)

The other day Abel and I were driving home from a playdate. I asked him what song he wanted to hear, and he said, “Born To Be Wild,” – the Steppenwolf classic that has been on his Top Ten list since I sang it to him while sitting on his father’s motorcycle in the back yard last spring.

Usually Abel hates it when I sing along with the car stereo. Some days, he won’t even abide me bobbing my head or shrugging my shoulders to the beat. (Am I embarrassing him already?) But this time, as the first chords of the song thundered out of my Subaru’s aging sound system, he said, “Sing, Mommy!”

“You want me to sing?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

I know all the words, of course. And so does he.

We got through the first verse, and I paused to catch my breath.”

“Why you not singing, Mommy?”

So together, we sang the chorus.

It cracks me up to hear him, in his lisping little boy voice, shouting out:

Yeah darlin’ go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of the guns at once and
Explode into space.

It also brings tears to my eyes. Because we’re there. We’ve reached that milestone. We’re singing along to the car stereo together, both enjoying it.

The icing on the cake: guess what he wanted to hear next? “All Star.”

Favorite Books: Age 2

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault – This book is so fun to read! It has a very specific rhythm, and once you find it, you can’t help but groove to it. “Skit skat skoodle-doot. Flip, flop flee.” In the meantime, you get to learn what your ABCs look like and sound like.


Richard Scarry’s Best Word Book Ever and Richard Scarry’s Hop Aboard Here We Go – As far as sitting down with your child and reading, these books can be tedious. But they’re great when your kid wants to sit and page through a book by himself, or when he wants to learn some new words. Large format and very colorful, these books are ideal for bringing to a restaurant on waiting room to help pass the time.

The Alphabet Room by Sara Pinto – Each letter appears on its own page with a corresponding object and joins other letters in the alphabet room. The paintings are beautiful and it’s fun to try to keep track of all the objects, as the shift position with each page.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle – The caterpillar eats his way through the week and gets a stomachache on Saturday when he eats too much junk food. Soon he becomes a butterfly. Classic Carle collage art and opportunities to learn the days of the week, the life cycle of a caterpillar, and what are good and not so good ways to nourish oneself.

Truck by Donald Crews – No words in this one, just pictures. You follow a big truck from the tricycle factory, out of the city, over the bridge, down the highway, etc. You can make up your own story or just look at the pictures.

Down on the Farm with Grover by Ray Sipherd – This is part of the extensive Sesame Street Library. We’ve picked up books from that collection at yard sales and library sales. Some of them are great and some are not. Abel really liked this one, in which Grover is put in charge of his uncle’s farm for the weekend. Havoc ensues (I especially enjoy the picture of him trying to feed the animals spaghetti, hamburger and milkshakes instead of boring old hay).

The House That Jill Built by Phyllis Root and Delphine Durand – Got this one at a remainder sale. It’s a lift-the flap book, and the flaps are tiny at times, so you’d probably have to help your young child with them (at three, Abel can open most of them). The story, as such, is based on Mother Goose’s nursery rhymes and other classics. Jill builds a house for herself and her cat, but the animals from Mother Goose keep asking to live there too, so she keeps adding rooms. With each new page, the animals (three blind mice, little bo beep) move to a new location in the house. This is another great book for restaurants and even in the car, because it keeps the child occupied – since there is a lot going on on each page.

Corduroy by Don Freeman – My sister had this book when we were kids, but I think it arrived on the scene too late for me to appreciate it. But, oh, how I love it now. It’s a simple story about a (stuffed animal) bear in green overalls with a missing button, which sits on the shelf of a department store day after day, because no one wants to buy a bear with a button missing on his overalls. But a girl named Lisa takes a liking to him and eventually brings him home. In the meantime, Corduroy has a grand adventure one night in the store, trying to find his button. Such a sweet story.

I Stink by Kate & Jim McMullan – The gruff (or perhaps just to-the-point) story of a garbage truck as he makes his daily rounds. Includes an alphabet of yucky things one might find in a garbage truck (zipped up ziti with zucchini, anyone?).

Baby Danced the Polka by Karen Beaumont – Sweet rhyming story of a baby on the farm who won’t take a nap, and instead wants to, among other things “dance the polka with the polka dotted pig.” Momma and Papa are increasingly exasperated, but in the end they all have a dance party and then the baby goes to sleep. Fun!

Railway Rhymes by R. Schuyler Hooke – A large format board book featuring Thomas the Train and his friends on the Island of Sodor. Poems of different lengths about each train – some are stories, some simple description (Our favorite: The Breakdown train, It has no name, . . . “). This is a great book for the car – Abel loves to look at the pictures.

Caps for Sale by Esphyr Slobodkina – A man who sells caps has a slow day and takes a nap under a tree. While he’s asleep, monkeys steal his caps. He wakes, and tried to get his caps back. The monkeys imitate his every move. Funny.

Everywhere the Cow Says Moo by Ellen Slusky Weinstein – Different animals make different sounds in different countries . . . but everywhere the cow says “moo.” You’ve probably wondered what sound a frog makes in Japan – now you can find out!

Green Eggs & Ham by Dr. Seuss – The classic book about Sam I Am trying to get his friend to eat some green eggs and ham. Seuss’s typical rhyming phrases and wacky storyline make it fun. And the lesson at the end – to try a food even if you think you won’t like it, because maybe you will, is certainly relevant to toddlers.

The Construction Alphabet Book by Jerry Pallotta & Rob Bolster – Ah, construction trucks . . . And endless source of amusement for Abel, as each page includes a painting of a construction vehicle, along with a description of what it does, and sometimes what it sounds like. Chris and I learned a lot about construction and roadwork vehicles while reading this to Abel. Have you ever heard of a horizontal borer, or a vactor? See, you might learn something too!

The Sneetches & other Stories by Dr. Seuss – Through the story of the star-bellied and plain-bellied Sneetches, we learn why discrimination is wrong. Plus, there’s the Zax, which teaches why it’s silly to be stubborn, and Too Many Daves, which is just plain funny. And more. Fun Seuss stuff!

Curious George by H. A. Rey – The classic story about a curious little monkey and his friend, The Man with the Yellow Hat. This one starts out on the dubious side, with The Man capturing George in the jungle and bringing him across the ocean so he can live in a zoo. But then fun adventures ensue. The other books in the George series are a little bit lighter, and always involve George learning some kind of lesson. We especially like Curious George Goes To A Chocolate Factory, where we pretend to eat the chocolates. Watch out for Curious George Flies a Kite, though, which is unusually long and convoluted.

The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper – This classic story is kind of annoying to read because it’s repetitive, but not in a good way. But alas, we persevere because Abel likes anything that has to do with trains, and the lessons about being a good helper are a nice touch. And it’s clever how spinach is included among the treats the train is carrying for the little boys and girls on the other side of the mountain.

Every Friday by Dan Yaccarino – This book is a sweet coincidence in that the story is a page out of our family life. I love Yaccarino’s modern-retro illustrations. In this case, they depict a Friday morning ritual similar to that of Chris and Abel – going out to breakfast and having “daddy time” before daddy goes to work.

Mike Mulligan & his Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton – What’s not to like about Mike Mulligan and his trusty steam shovel, Mary Ann? They travel the world until steam shovels become obsolete, and then race against time to dig a cellar for the new town hall, make new friends, and find a new home for themselves in the process. Burton’s illustrations are wonderful and timeless. This book was a doorway for us to all of Burton’s other books.

Choo-Choo by Virginia Lee Burton – This one is about a train that runs away and eventually gets found. If your kid loves trains the way mine does, that’s all the storyline you need. But there’s more to it than that – the pen & ink drawings, the lovable characters, the happy ending (of course).

Katy and the Big Snow by Virginia Lee Burton – Yes, another transportation-related book from Burton. This one is about a snowplow that saves the town from all sorts of calamity when there’s a really big snowstorm. The color illustrations are delightful. We especially enjoy the little pictures that border the larger ones – showing different kinds of municipal roadwork vehicles.

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein – The classic story of a boy and his beloved tree. The boy grows older and needs the tree for different things. The tree grows lonely as the boy needs less and less from her. Parent and child? Hmmm . . . It’s kind of a melancholy story but we love it just the same.

Penguin by Polly Dunbar – This relatively new title is a delight for the eyes and a little dark and quirky as far as the story goes. Ben receives the gift of a penguin that doesn’t say a word. He tries to get the penguin to speak. I don’t want to spoil the ending for you – it’s pretty clever. Parents, preview this one before reading it with your child, to decide whether it might induce bad dreams.

The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf – Aw, such a sweet story. Ferdinand the gentle Spanish bull ends up at the bullfight but all he wants to do is smell the flowers. I love the pen and ink drawings, and the fun Latin words like “banderillos” and “picadores.”

This Place in the Snow by Rebecca Bond – We never would have found this book if not for a relative of the author giving it to Abel when he was born. Lovely poetry and paintings depict a day when the snowplow piles up mountains of snow at the roadsides and the kids create fortresses within the drifts.

p.s. Two recent articles on children's literature, provided by friend & faithful blog reader Charles Gregory.

From The New Yorker: here

From Another Parenting Blog: here

Favorite Books: Up To Age 2

Here's an annotated list of the books Abel and I liked best in his first two years. Yes, you will notice a theme: cars, trucks, and animals. We read these books over and over again, starting around the age of 9 months.

The Bright Baby Series (First Words, Animals, Colors, Trucks) by Roger Priddy - Small board books with one photograph per page on a brightly-colored background. Excellent for expanding vocabulary.

My Big Truck Book by Roger Priddy - Large board book featuring photographs of all sorts of trucks and construction equipment, each of which is named, in case you weren't able to identify a brush rig, for example, on your own. Perfect for the truck enthusiast (Abel's first word was "truck.")

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd - Simple and quiet, ideal for naptime/bedtime.

Mr. Gumpy’s Outing by John Burningham - Beautiful artwork accompanies this sweet story about a boy and a girl and Mr. Gumpy taking a boat down a river, with a different animal each page asking if he or she can come along.

Freight Train by Donald Crews - A simple board book about a train moving along a track. On the way you learn about colors, train cars, and different things one might see from the train tracks.

Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You by Dr. Seuss - This board book was Abel's introduction to Dr. Seuss and the first of his books that I inadvertently memorized. It has all sorts of fun sounds in it like "dibble dibble, dibble dop," and "clop, clop, clop, clop."

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See; Panda Bear, Panda Bear, What Do You See; Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear by Bill Martin Jr. and Eric Carle - Wonderful paintings of animals and a sing-songy text to delight the young ones.

The Carrot Seed by Ruth Krauss and Crockett Johnson -- A sweet board book about a little boy who plants a carrot seed and watches it grow.


Go Do Go by PD Eastman - (The Board Book Version) The board version of this book is very different from the full length version. This one rhymes and is easy for a little one to follow. We especially love the pink cake at the end.

Let's Eat (Sesame Street) by Constance Allen and David Prebenna - This book has a die-cut Cookie Monster on the cover, and tells a rhyming story of a dinner party hosted by Cookie himself. It is best read in Cookie Monster's voice. Lots of fun. "Me want to cook a dinner . . . "

Bear About Town by Stella Blackstone and Debbie Harter - This was a hand-me-down> We never would have discovered it otherwise. Bear takes a walk every day. On Monday he goes to the bakery. On Tuesday he goes to the gym. Etc. The best part for us was the picture of the town, where we would count windows and doors.


Please, Baby, Please by Spike Lee, Tonya Lewis Lee, and Kadir Nelson - Vibrant illustrations take you through one day in the life of a toddler. Fans of Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have It" will recognize the reference in the title, but no, this book isn't about sex, it's about trying to get your toddler to do what you want, or not-do what you don't want.

Is Your Mama a Llama by Deborah Guarino and Steven Kellogg - Baby llama meets all sorts of other animals.

Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton - "Stomp your feet, clap your hands, everybody ready for a barnyard dance!" Easy for both mom and baby to memorize. A fun rhythmic chant.

Big Red Barn by Margaret Wise Brown and Felicia Bond - The verses in this one feel a little forced (or perhaps just dated) but learning about different animals on the farm throughout the day was a big hit for us.

Miss Spider’s New Car by David Kirk - Another random hand-me-down that we loved, probably because it depicted different, fanciful cars and used fun words like "zoom."

Richard Scarry’s Cars & Trucks from A-Z - More cars! This book is funny, especially to a toddler. Who ever heard of a corn car? That's just silly!

Construction Zone by Tana Hoban - Okay, Abel loved this one, not me. It's a series of photographs of construction equipment, and then at the end there's a paragraph explaining what each one does. And now I can identify a "Crane With Clamshell Bucket!"

Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale by Mo Willems - Daddy loses Trixie's beloved Knuffle Bunny at the laundromat. Wicked cool artwork involving painting on top of photographs.

I Went Walking – by Sue Williams – This is a simple, repetitive book about a child who goes walking and sees some animals. Abel loved seeing the different animals. He mostly enjoyed reading this book with his Babci (grandmother).

Noteworthy Conversations with my Three-Year-Old

Abel in his fireman gear. Photo copyright Chris Bernstein.


My mother watches Abel on Mondays and Wednesdays, while I work. I’ve got a computer set up in my “office,” my old bedroom at my parents’ house. Today, while I was working, I heard Abel’s feet on the stairs. (He often comes up to visit me). He padded into the room, quietly for him, and said, “Mommy, I want to tell you about two things."

“What’s up, Abel?” I asked.

“When I was a baby, I said ‘goo goo, gaga’.”

“That’s right, you did.” (We’d discussed this the night before, as I was putting him to bed.)

“The second thing I want to tell you is this,” he continued. “When I was a baby, I said ha-ha-ha-ha.”

“Is that so?” (This was new.)

“Yes” he answered. And then turned and left the room, just as quietly as he’d entered.

He repeated the story, to Daddy, later that evening.

----

A month or two ago, I awoke around 2 AM, hearing my son stir in bed, whining softly. He quieted down quickly enough, so I rolled over and went back to sleep. A little while later, there was a strange sound that was sort-of like when he gets out of bed in the morning, but not quite. I went to his room to investigate, stepping over the safety gate that keeps him from wandering around the house when he is – or we are – half-asleep. He wasn’t in the bed. In fact, I didn’t see him anywhere. I was more puzzled than panicked. Then I realized that the pile of pillows on the floor was not just a pile of pillows, but a sleeping child slumping into a pile of pillows from a most unusual perch. Perhaps he fell out of bed, perhaps he crawled out, but he landed in the laundry basket of books we keep at his bedside.

“Abel,” I said softly, and he blinked a few times.

“My book basket is in my bed,” he told me. “Why is my book basket in my bed?”

I didn’t try to explain, I just lifted him back into bed, replacing the pillows and tucking the quilt in around him.

In the morning, I told him what had happened. “You fell out of bed in the middle of the night, and landed in your book basket. You told me the book basket was in your bed.”

“It WAS, Mommy.”

---


My sister, who babysits on Tuesday mornings, was encouraging Abel to dance.

Shake, shake, shake
Shake, shake, shake
Shake your booty, she sang.
Shake your booty.

Abel giggled. Then he began running around the room. He didn’t quite get the lyric. “Shake your Buddha!” he sang. “Shake your Buddha!”

(He’s familiar with the Buddha – his mom has little statues here and there.)

---


I usually do my grocery shopping alone. It’s easier, and faster, that way. But occasionally, when my husband has work conflicts, Abel comes with me.

Earlier this spring, he was sitting in the cart at Stop and Shop as we made our way into the produce section. He pointed out a display of large watermelon quarters, wrapped tightly in cellophane. “Can we get some? You told me we could get some ‘maybe next time’.”

“Sure!” I placed the watermelon in the cart behind him.

“I want to hold it,” he demanded. “I want to smell it.”

“Okay, Abel, but don’t drop it.”

He held it up to his face, like a big goofy smile. I continued through the store, gathering the last few items on my list.

Suddenly I could smell watermelon. Abel was still holding it up to his face.

“I licked it, Mommy.”

“Oh, Abel, don’t put that in your mouth.”

But it was too late – he had already chewed a hole through the plastic, and was gleefully sucking watermelon pulp through the hole.

In typical three-year-old fashion, he refused to eat any more of the watermelon when we got home, and continued to refuse it for the rest of the week.

---


Chris, Abel and I are riding in the truck, listening to a mix CD that I made for Chris when I was pregnant. We have just heard "You're Having My Baby" by Paul Anka, which Abel declared his new favorite song, despite Chris saying it was corny and me saying it was cheesy. "Frontier Psychiatrist" by The Avalanches comes on next. And here's how it goes from there:

Abel: (sniffles)
Chris: Are you okay, Abel? (turns volume down)
Abel: You have to turn the music up. . . . (ponders for a long moment) Is that music?
Chris: (turns music up)
Abel: (thinking about it for a minute) Yeah, it's music.

--

We are driving in the car, listening to a mix CD I made for Abel. “Don’t Worry Be Happy” comes on.

Abel: Who’s that singing?
Kezia: Bobby McFerrin.
Abel: No, who’s that singing?
Kezia: Bobby McFerrin.
Abel: No it’s not.
Kezia: Yes it is.
Abel: No, it’s a fish.
Kezia: A fish?
Abel: A fish on a wall.
Kezia: (realizes he’s talking about a scene in a movie). Oh, you’re right honey, where did we see a fish on a wall, singing?
Abel: Wall-e!

Hey Mister D.J.

I open the door and my son, who is two, climbs into his car seat. As I buckle him in, he sings the tune his dad taught him, “Buckle up for safety, baby better buckle up!” Then I go around to my door, settle myself into my own seat, and turn the key in the ignition.

“What song do you want to hear?” I ask.

“Dewy-dawa.”

“Okay!” I reply as I slide the “Cars” soundtrack into the player.

I’m not sure why, but “Dewy-dawa” is Abel’s code name for “Sh-boom” by The Chords. We listen to it five times in a row on the ten-minute drive to my parents’ house, where he will stay with my mom while I go to work.

“Sh-boom” will remain his favorite song for the better part of three weeks, after which he will prefer Chuck Berry’s “Route 66,” on the same CD. “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John, “Ob La Di, Ob La Da” by the Beatles, and “Puff the Magic Dragon” by Gregory Isaacs, among others, have each enjoyed the distinction of being Abel’s favorite, which means that each has had its own extended play period of a fortnight or more.

Do I mind listening to the same song over and over again? Of course. But it’s not like we’re listening to Barney or The Wiggles. I’ve pre-selected the songs. I make compilations for my son and his friends so that they will be as familiar with classics like “Hey Good Lookin’” by Hank Williams or “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley as the inevitable picks from kid-oriented movies like “Cars.”

Abel tires of “Route 66” after a week or so, and then we struggle for a few days to find something – anything – he wants to hear. He demands “from Cars!” and we skip through the soundtrack trying to find the song he has in mind. “Noooooo!” he wails as each track begins.

When the whining gets intolerable, I suggest that we try something new. I pop “Auntie Kezia’s Songs for Kids Volume 4” into the player, something we haven’t ever listened to, even though it’s almost a year old. “Lilah really likes this song,” I tell him as I queue up “Penguins” by Lyle Lovett. He doesn’t object – he really looks up to his friend Lilah, who is almost six. “Out of Limits” a surf version of the old TV show theme comes next, followed by Springsteen’s “Old Dan Tucker,” which I explain to him is his friends’ Connor and Sean’s favorite song. We are on our way to play with Connor and Sean, and another buddy, Max, as we listen. He is digging the new music. As each song ends he asks, “What’s next?”

Over the course of the day, we work our way through about half of the CD, with no repeats. Then when he tires of the new stuff, we go back to some of his old favorites. I’m sure I’m not alone, but I still can’t make out all the words to “C’rile Rock,” despite hundreds of listens.

Two weeks later, we are driving home from another playdate with Connor, Sean, and Max. Out of nowhere, Abel starts making demands from the backseat. “Weez-offa-benneez-cadi-wack.”

“What’s that, honey?”

“Weez-offa-benneez-cadi-wack?”

“Huh?”

“Weez-offa-benneez-cadi-wack.”

One more time?

“Weez-offa-benneez-cadi-wack!”

Suddenly it dawns on me. “Wheels off of Benny’s Cadillac? Wheels off of Benny’s Cadillac! You want to hear “Benny’s Cadillac?” It’s Track 9 on “Auntie Kezia Volume 4.”

“Yes!”

“Okay, honey.” I put the CD in and he squeals with delight.

I puzzle it over in my mind, trying to figure out how he can pull a song that he’s heard only once, two weeks ago, from his memory. Did he see a Cadillac on the road? Would he recognize one? Maybe he just associates the song with leaving his friend Max’s house.

So “Benny’s Cadillac” by the Iguanas becomes his new favorite, and we listen to it over and over again for the next – get this – four months. Four months of “What do you want to hear?”

“Benny.”

“How about something different?”

“No. Benny.”

It’s non-negotiable.

But at least he lets the rest of the CD play on after he’s heard “Benny” a few times. We get to know “New Sound” by Scooter from the Muppets really well, “Abracadabra by the Steve Miller Band, and “Fingernails” by Joe Ely. And when we go on longer drives, we make it all the way through the 80-minute disc, working our way back around to “Penguins,” “Dan Tucker,” and another big fave, “Angelina/Zooma Zooma” by Louis Prima, which extols the virtues of “Angelina, waitress at the pizzeria,” and coincidentally dovetails well with Abel’s summer-long obsession with Papa Gino’s.

In the fall, I present Abel with “Auntie Kezia’s Songs for Kids Volume 5,” and – with a big sigh of relief on my part – we move on from “Benny” (albeit temporarily) to an unprecedented fifteen-song sequence of favorites that begins with “All Together Now” by the Beatles and careens through various chapters of music history – The Ventures, The Dixie Cups, James Taylor – ending with John Prine’s “Dear John (I Sent Your Saddle Home). How could my heart not fill with pride when he recognizes – even requests – Talking Heads or The Who?

But he’s not interested in the second half of the CD. Whenever he hears Springsteen’s cover of “Froggie Went A’Courtin’” (Track 16), he immediately asks for “Old Dan Tucker,” off the same album. He recognizes the voice, or perhaps the sound of the band, and it reminds him of another old favorite. And despite my best efforts, inevitably, we’re back to “Benny.”

One day he asks for “Game-ler.” I know he means “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers, because I’d successfully suggested it as a new song a few hours earlier. I’m not sure which track number we’re looking for, so I guess (I’m pretty sure it’s either 9 or 11). Track nine turns out to be the 1983 novelty hit “Putting on the Ritz” by Taco. Less than two full bars into the song, Abel says to me, “No, that’s ‘Putting on the Ritz.”

This is remarkable on its own considering Abel’s young age, but the fact that he’s only heard “Ritz” a total of three times in his life, the most recent being three weeks prior, really makes it meaningful. We’ve got a long way to go in learning letters and numbers. But he’s an ace at Name That Tune.

What can I say -- my son is a musical genius! (Kidding! I’m kidding. Really.)

But seriously. We’re having fun. I get to introduce Abel to the music I love, and he really enjoys it. I’m constantly on the lookout for selections for the next compilation, wondering what will appeal to his still-developing ears.

In ten years’ time – or even sooner – the roles will be reversed. (I’m afraid my dad is still getting over my ninth grade obsession with the Violent Femmes’ first album). Abel will be introducing his favorite songs to me. If it goes as I’m hoping it does, those songs won’t be chirpy inanities from High School Musical Fourteen or overproduced dreck from American Idol (yes I am a snob), but something catchy from a hot new garage band out of Akron, perhaps, or some clever hip-hop by the son of one of the guys in Outkast.

I can’t wait.

Hey Mister D.J.
Put a record on
I wanna dance with my baby

Stuck Indoors with a Toddler

Here, Abel plays the game he invented that involves "fixing" Dada's legs.

It’s the middle of the winter. It’s below freezing outside for the 45th day in a row. Or it’s too windy, or too wet, . . . you get the picture. Going outside to play is not an option. Your usual playmates are sick or otherwise unavailable; you’re tired of all your toys and books and usual activities. What do to? Here are a few ideas.

• Bake something. My son, who is two and a half, loves to pull a chair up to the counter and help me pour ingredients into the stand mixer or the bread machine. I’m not comfortable cooking with him yet over a hot stove, but tipping mixing cups and spoons together works just fine. He also likes pressing down on the tops of cookies once I’ve spooned them onto the baking sheet. Best of all: you get to sample whatever you’ve made later on.

• Make a fort. Find some large blankets. Gather some dining chairs or other reasonably tall and sturdy furniture. Drape the blankets over the tops of the furniture to make a fort – or a cabin – or a tent – or whatever you want to call it. Then climb in. Anything done inside a fort is more fun than when it’s done in a normal setting.

• Make a nest. Gather as many pillows and blankets as you can – the cushions from the couch work too. The more the better. Pile them up in a cozy area (our favorites: the sunny dining room or the living room couch) and then sit or lie in the pile. It’s a great place to read, to chat, or just to snuggle.

• Run. Really? Yes. My son likes to run laps around the small loop that connects the four rooms of our downstairs. Kitchen to hall, to living room to dining room – around and around and around. He especially likes it when we chase him. The other day I figured out that if I think of it as exercise, and jog at a moderate pace, it assuages the longing (somewhat) that I have for the gym. This seems to hold his attention more than dancing – but that’s an option too.

• Vacuum. Household chores may seem like drudgery to you, but to a toddler, they might actually be interesting. Let’s see what we can find when we take all the cushions off the couch! Let’s see what’s under the bed! Let your child try his hand at the work of it too – you might have to do it over again when he’s done, but it will be empowering for him at least to try. You have to be selective, of course. I tried to enlist my son’s help in washing the floor, but he only ended up making big puddles and then tried to eat the sponge.

• Play with Water. One of my son’s favorite activities is standing at the kitchen sink with the water running while he fills and empties different size cups. But the best part is when he gets to use the sprayer. I try to keep water play a “special occasion” activity so we don’t waste too much water. Inevitably playing at the sink renders the kitchen a wet mess -- but the floor usually needs mopping anyway).

• Let your child read to you. He or she has probably memorized sections of his/her favorite books – or at least knows the story line. Snuggle up with a book and see what your child comes up with just by browsing the pictures.

• Write a letter. Have your child dictate a letter to Grandpa or Uncle Jeff or Santa (even off-season). Write it down word-for-word and leave space for your child to decorate the margins.

• Look at photo albums. Most kids like to look at pictures of themselves, especially if you can tell stories that describe the pictures. When they get older, old pictures of you will fascinate them as well.

• Find videos of interest on You Tube. There is all sorts of G-Rated good stuff out there – footage of construction sites and zoo animals, Thomas & Friends episodes (watch out for the parodies, though), real-time aquarium scenes.

• Make a home video. Each month, I make a point to interview my son on camera. The subject matter isn’t very important – I just want to record him talking about whatever comes to mind (although the subjects of “What did you have for breakfast?” and “What did we do today?” are very common.) Edit these together at the end of the year for a vivid recap of the progress of your child’s development. You can make audio recordings too – or even try a photo shoot, with or without props.

• Follow your child’s lead. We have a weekend ritual that my son refers to as “Rockets.” Every Saturday he likes to help me change the sheets on all the beds. One day we experimented with crawling under the fitted sheet on our queen size bed (with one corner untucked). Lying on his back, my son figured out that there was just enough room for him to extend his legs all the way up. “Rockets!” he exclaimed. So now every Saturday (and sometimes during the week as well) we crawl under the fitted sheet and do Rockets. We also end up lying in the bed and chatting, or examining the other objects that surround the bed on a given day (a clock, a flashlight, Daddy’s cough drops). It doesn’t have to be an “activity” to be interesting.

P-O-P

“I want something,” Abel said to me the other, day. It’s his way of saying, “I’m hungry.”

“What do you want?” I asked.

“G-S-R-O,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“Can you say that again?” I asked.

“G-S-R-O.”

Our family uses shorthand sometimes for everyday objects. Ginger snaps, which are both Abel and his father’s choice for an after-dinner treat, are known as “G-S-es.” Blankie and Lovey, Abel’s two comfort objects, are often referred to as “the B and the L.” And the pacifier, which for the longest time was only known as the pacifier, became “diss” a few months after Abel began to speak. When he was fussy, we used to ask, “Do you want THIS?” and hold the pacifier in front of him. “Diss!” he learned to say when he wanted it.

But what was G-S-R-O?”

Abel is two and a half, and he’s articulate for his age. We’re fortunate that he often can express himself quite clearly.

“Abel, I don’t know what a G-S-R-O is. Can you tell me where I might find it?”

“In the ‘friger-A-tor.”

Still no idea. “Can you show me where?”

We go into the kitchen. “Up there,” he says, and points to the freezer.

“Aha!” I say to myself. I think I’ve figured it out.

“Abel, do you want a P-O-P?” It’s our shorthand for popsicle.

“Yes! A popsicle! P-O-P! I want an orange one – no, a red one.”

Phew. Not being able to figure out what a toddler wants can be a frustrating experience for everyone involved. We got off easy this time.

I really enjoy hearing my son’s language skills emerge. His vocabulary is already extensive. In fact, “extensive” is one of his words. One day in the car he told me “the traffic is extensive.” I thought he said “expensive,” and chuckled to myself, because gas was nearly $4.00 a gallon at the time, and he was indeed correct. But then I remembered that I had used that exact phrase the day before to explain why we were taking a different route home. It became a joke between him and me when we hit heavy traffic in the weeks after that conversation – was the traffic extensive -- or expensive? (Daddy’s new computer, he knows, is expensive.)

I love when he makes up words for yet-unnamed objects he encounters, based on the words already in his vocabulary. The other day I asked if he’d help me make mashed potatoes, a task he has enjoyed in the past. He pulled up a chair to the kitchen counter. “Where’s the potato doer?” he asked, meaning the potato masher. “Doer” is one of his favorite all-purpose words. He calls the Scotch tape dispenser the “tape doer,” and tool we use to scoop avocados from their skin the “avocado doer.”

Abel picked out some foam letters a couple months ago at Target, to add to our array of bathtub toys. When they are wet, they stick to the sides of the tub. Abel really enjoys playing with them, and as a result he is learning his letters. He knows A and B (his initials), plus K, S, O, and sometimes E. He also recognizes the numbers 8 and 5 (thanks to Elmo’s “Five, No Jive” rap on Sesame Street).

The letter P in this collection is yellow. “P for pee-pee!” I exclaimed one evening as he played in the tub. Abel cracked up. “P for pee-pee!” he repeated, and continues to repeat, perhaps a little bit more than I’d like – in parking lots, whenever he sees a P on a license plate, or in the grocery store, when he sees the P in “Produce.”

At least he hasn’t figured out that P also stands for “poop.”

by Kezia Bacon-Bernstein
January, 2009